Overcoming Toxic Relationships with Dr Judy Bauer



We've been given the job to manage the garden of our life

My mother always told us kids when we came in to point the finger at one of our siblings for their misdeeds that there were three fingers pointing back to us.
In other words, I'd like to share the idea that in order to overcome toxic relationships, instead of focusing on what others are doing, we first take a look at ourselves.
Could it be that we are toxic to ourselves? Let's consider:

1. What kind of inner thoughts and mutterings do you have concerning yourself?

1. Do you speak unkindly about yourself to yourself?
2. Do you criticize yourself when you mess up?
3. Do you constantly say, "Sorry" or take the blame when you did no wrong?

2. What kind of sabotaging do you do to your own dreams, desires and goals?

1. Do you even allow yourself to have them?
2. Do you give yourself permission to put them as a priority?
3. Do you make promises to yourself and continually break them?

3. What kind of friends, music, videos, books, news, etc. do you allow in your

1. Do you allow abusive words to be spoken about you or others in your hearing?
2. Do you allow background noise to constantly clutter your mental space?
3. Do you permit people to dump their emotional garbage on you?
Let's take a look at what the Bible shares about God's desire for us, His children.

"Beloved friend, I pray that you are prospering in every way and that you continually enjoy good health, just as your soul is prospering." III John 1:2 (The Passion Trans)

Since our soul is made up of our mind (thinking), will (decision maker) and emotions (feelings) it makes sense that John will pray that not only would we prosper spiritually and have healthy bodies, but that we would also have healthy souls.

Proverbs lets us in on a few secret truths...
1. "as a man thinks within himself, so is he." 23:7
2. "So above all, guard the affections of your heart (kardia = mind, will & emotions), for they will affect all that you are. Pay attention to the welfare of your innermost being, for from there flows the wellspring of life. 4:23

Let's take inventory of ourselves and realize we are allowing toxicity to dwell internally and surround us externally. It's time to make a decision and realize we need to use the authority Jesus gave us and say, "STOP" to things that do not give us a healthy dwelling place mentally, physically and spiritually.

We've been given the job to manage the garden of our life. Like Adam and Eve let's not blow it by biting the apple the snake is offering under the guise of "it's ok, it won't hurt you."

It's time to pull out some weeds, toss out some rocks and plow up the ground to grow a healthier habitat for ourselves so that we are a vessel of honor fit for The Master's use.

1. Take inventory.
2. Go to God, ask His forgiveness and repent of those patterns.
3. Forgive yourself and establish new strategies to live a non-toxic life...

You are a blood-bought, redeemed, child of God...so walk in His righteousness and prosper in all your ways.
Dr Judy Bauer


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