Overcoming Toxic Relationships

chad smanjak forgiveness Jun 03, 2019



I remember my dad saying to me: “ Show me your friends and I will tell you your future, son”

“Expel the wicked person from among you.” 1 Corinthians 5:13
Sometimes God takes people out of your life for a reason. We hang on for dear life to people that are holding us back. But God tells us, "It's time to grow and walk into that which I have for you but you’re stuck hanging with the bad crowd or in a toxic relationship."
The right people will lift you and inspire you. The wrong people will have a negative influence in your life. The people we choose to surround ourselves with are important to our spiritual health.
I remember my dad saying to me: “ Show me your friends and I will tell you your future, son” Looking back on my life and reflecting on the zig zag path that got me to this point in time, I now see with clarity, the truth in that statement. WOW!
The good and the bad can all be associated to the people that I chose to surround myself with, and the environments I allowed myself to engage in.
Forgiveness is such a powerful weapon when it comes to dealing with toxic relationships. Deep down most people aren't inherently trying to disappoint or hurt you. This reminds me of a misunderstanding I overheard recently. One person was really mad. The other was unaware of the infraction. Then, others were trying to go-between.
A lot of our people-troubles are misunderstandings:
1. They misunderstood what we meant.
2. They misunderstood what we care about.
3. Or, we did the same to them.
Someone might say, “if you can be there, that’d be great,” but what they really meant was, “I desperately need you.” We can mean different things, though we say the same words. People around you can either accelerate or annihilate your spiritual growth.
 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33
Paul tells us that the more time we spend with toxic people, the greater the chance of us being drawn away from God. Beware of being sucked into the lifestyles of your friends and those around you. Your
intention is to help them and before you know it, you may find that you drifted away from God and lost your way.
So how do we cut unhealthy relationships out of our lives? First, you must identify and accept the reality of an out-of-balance relationship; negative people, relationships where the other person is a constant controller or friends, family and others who always temp you to live outside of God's best for you. Boundaries! Set healthy boundaries!
Take responsibility. Don’t allow people to dump their garbage on you. Jesus loved everyone equally but he did not treat everyone equally. He set boundaries.
Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”
Matthew 16:23
3 simple answers when you get pulled into a toxic situation:
• I am not going there with you
• I am not going to talk about that with you.
• I won’t let you treat me that way.
Sometimes we get to the point were we have no choice but to cut off the toxic relationship. When you realize that a relationship is becoming increasingly toxic, be gracious and end the relationship in love.
Ask yourself the hard questions:
• Am I the toxic one?
• Where do I need to establish some healthy boundaries?
• Is there a toxic relationship that needs to be cut off?
Don’t allow yourself to be pulled into a situation that will result in bad decisions. The goal is to be filled with Gods spirit and to remain in His presence always. Let’s be as clear as possible. And then full of grace for the space between us.
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2
Chad Smanjak


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