Dealing with Denial - Episode 2

Mini-Series: Dealing with Denial



etting the Atmosphere for Tough Conversations

Let’s talk about setting the atmosphere for tough conversations to break free from denial.

First of all, don’t have these conversations when you’re angry, upset, emotionally overloaded or in the heat of the moment. That’s like pouring gasoline on a roaring fire. It will explode and cause more damage.

When you are aware that you’ve been in denial and are ready to open that closet door or lift the lid off of Pandora’s box strategically prepare for the tough conversation. It can be a conversation you hold with yourself or one that you have with another individual.

If you are emotionally exasperated with pent up feelings it’s best to separate yourself with some distance or space before you have “the talk.”

Take a break: Go for a walk, jog, swim, play tennis, hike etc. Expend the pent-up energy and emotional angst that wants to erupt. Sometimes putting a pillow on a bed and hitting the pillow with a cardboard tube
or a belt until you get all that negative emotion released can provide a release. That’s a lot safer than putting your fist through a door or hitting someone.

Pray: Pour out your heart before the Lord. He wants you to bring your troubles to Him. He will carry them. If you are baptized in the Holy Spirit also pray in your prayer language. The Holy Spirit will pray through you what is in your heart and pray the will of God.

Journal: Write out your feelings. Get it all out on paper. Let it sit a day or two and then revisit and sort through the hurt and pain and uncover the truthful parts.

Get strategy/wisdom from God: Ask Him how to set the atmosphere for the tough conversation you need to have to come to the truth for  everyone to be healed and set free. Decide the time and place: Give yourself enough time to bring the matter to a conclusion. Choose a safe place not one where you could be injured if it’s not received well.

Choose your words wisely: Be courteous and without an edge to your tone. Don’t accuse, blame or condemn. Instead use words like: “I’m feeling, wondering, concerned…that this situation is unhealthy for us and wanted to discuss this with you so we could find a solution.”

If the other person has a narcissist personality, is a physcopath or goes into a rage easily get professional help. Do not attempt to confront painful issues without the help of others who are qualified to assist in an intervention.

In dealing with denial…the goal is to come to a place of healing, restoration and to walk in the truth. John 8:32 Jesus said, “you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.”

Judy Bauer

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